Boxed IN

Boxed In
© N Noël Nov 2008



These four walls are closing in corner to corner full to the brim.
Spilling over cascading down hoping life’s worries come tumbling down. Caught in a web of my own design time no longer a friend of mine. Wake up praying each day for more time. Time to weave away the sin just don’t know where to begin. Time to fix what’s been broken. Can’t find the right tools to open up this web of lies heading to my own demise. A stitch here a stitch there seems nothing works. Everything is heavy weighed down carrying around all my worth.

Boxed in curled up in a tight ball waiting for these four walls to come crashing down. Sifting through the rubble after all is said and done still looking for a means to justify the end. Hoping my sacrifices have become my friend. Caught in a web of my own design time no longer a friend of mine. Can’t get to the truth wouldn’t know the difference if it were in plain sight. Comes around almost never I just can’t fight.

Patching these walls that are tattered and worn trying to reclaim this life forlorn. Retouched, refinished the design is still the same. Maybe I’m not cut out to play this game. Nothing seems to work time and again. Cracks and imperfections are pushing through trying to hold it all together with a bottle of glue. Knowing it won’t work still I follow through. Caught in a web of my own design time no longer a friend of mine.

Try to climb my way out just won’t work no matter how much I SCREAM, CRY OR SHOUT. No one to hear me or save my soul. Turn the next corner end up grey and old. Can’t buy time back it’s not for sale gotta get what I can now or I won’t prevail.

Black and white no shades of grey. No misinterpretation a life written and bound by false dictation. No editing, proofreading only false misleading. Chapter by chapter all the words running together makes no sense so it festers into shredded pieces in the wind. Trapped inside BOXED IN.

Smart person poor choices now all I hear are the screaming voices echoing inside these four walls of this boxed in existence. Turn to the left or the right end up back where I started. On the bottom piled upon dreams and desires never to be found. Stressed out, mixed up hitting these four walls ready to give up. SCREAM LOUD, CRY LONG hope this process will not be prolonged. Need peace and a sweet sleep some days hide under the covers waiting for silence to take over.

Many don’t understand keep looking from a far. Peeping over the edge with the door held ajar. Holding me in with the lid held so tight. Wanting more from me than I’m willing to give. Never enough until I’m WALLED and BOXED in. No matter the outcome I just won’t win. Caught in a web of my own design time no longer a friend of mine. What to do? Ask the question each day. Push the walls down brick by brick escape and run away.